Being Present:

 Boy do I love looking at those faces!!

Makes me wonder what I ever did to deserve those three treasures??

They are obviously at school right now...because in a few hours after we have gone through  homework, room cleaning, friends running through the house, dinner with a "Not that again!" and maybe a "That is so gross", and scrubbing the grime off them (other wise known as bath time) ...

I may just be tempted to look at them and sigh....loudly! haha

But the truth is....I don't want to sigh...and I especially don't want to yell. They don't need that... I don't need that... Joe definitely does not need that, after a working so hard all day to provide a great life for us. He deserves to come home to a calm, happy home...not all of the time...but most of the time.

I am working on this...hard...I am having to work really hard.

It requires many rewind moments. I will say...."okay, wait a minute...that is not how I wanted this conversation to go....let's rewind, and restart."

Sometimes I step into my room and take a deep breath...and talk to myself (crazy, I know).

"Steph... you are so blessed to have healthy, beautiful kids. They are JUST kids. Be patient and LISTEN. Teach them....do not dictate."

I get into this "Mom role" where I feel the need to control the outcome. I honestly don't feel that is the true role of a mother. Sure the kids need direction, guidance. Kids need to be presented with choices that will bring about a favorable outcome...but my role is not to DEMAND that there be one.

The key for me is to remain focused and present, otherwise I lose sight of my purpose as a mother. I lose sight of their purpose as a child of God. Who knows...those huge spirits trapped in those immature bodies, and minds...may be far more advanced than I am. In fact, I am pretty sure of it!!

 I know it is not fair of me...but I get distracted by things that in the grand scheme of things are just not important. Then when I am needed, I act like they are disrupting me???? WHAT? I am their MOM...their resource. I always want them to come to me, trust me, depend on me, know that I can't wait to hear what they have to say. 

So, I will say it again WHAT?? WHY??

Time for a reset, Steph!

 I mean, I am all for a Mom having a little time of her own, but when I am with the kids I need be better at being COMPLETELY present.

Just putting it out there for my own sake...they deserve the very best part of me, and sometimes I fail to give it. I recognize it is human nature to struggle with this... it is just I was in need of a little lecture :) It is time to DO something about it.

Act instead of React.

"Remember you are not managing an inconvenience, you are raising a human being."-Kittie Franz

These kids have so much potential... I think I would be in big trouble if I were to stand in their way of becoming GREAT! The awesome thing is, I have it within in me to HELP them become great. I AM helping them become great...it is just I know I can do better, and...

I WILL!